Before you pop the champagne and jump up and down with happiness at the thought we can get a civil marriage in Lebanon now, we still can’t. Sadly, it’s dark ages religious courts that still decide personal status laws in Lebanon. However, more and more young loved ones are opting out of these outdated, unfair and illogical laws and deciding to take the civil marriage road, and that fills my heart with happiness.

Paperwork in Cyprus, Happiness in Sour

The beautiful bride and groom hopped on a plane to Cyprus to tie the knot on paper, but they decided to celebrate their love back home with their friends and family. Often, young couples face a tough choice: should we get married in a destination somewhere with civilized laws and drag our loved ones with us, or should we succumb to the will of old men in black robes here, paying them a whole lot of money so they can treat women badly if the worst happens?

This couple, which preferred to remain anonymous in this article, and whose privacy I will honor, decided to have the best of both worlds. They decided to let a modern law govern their marriage, but also to celebrate in the presence of their family and friends in a beautifully simple ceremony by the beach in South Lebanon. The cherry on top was that they chose Joumana Haddad to be their officiant.

Joumana Wrote the Ceremony

Instead of the usual misogynistic religious ceremony where a woman is ordered to serve her husband and be obedient, Joumana wrote a magnificent tri-lingual ceremony where the emphasis was on the couple being equal partners, where love came before god and where mutual respect and support was the promise.

This wedding wasn’t only beautiful, it also sent many powerful messages without being too in-your-face. The couple shunned the horrid misogyny of religious weddings. The couple challenged the Lebanese government, which still allows religious institutions to govern our private family lives. The couple decided to choose a strong, secular woman to help them make their vows to each other, someone they looked up to, someone who wouldn’t force them to change sects before getting hitched…

When Will Civil Marriage Be Legal Here?

Three of the four weddings I was invited to in Lebanon this year were just a ceremony. The happy couples had chosen to get married somewhere in Europe on paper, then come back home to celebrate with those they love. Till when do we have to go through all this trouble if a man or woman chooses a partner from a different sect, or doesn’t want ancient religious laws that are always skewed towards the husband, and never fair to the wife and kids?

Till when do we have to go and pay foreign governments to get married a 21st Century marriage, instead of an 11th Century one like the ones we have in Lebanon?

Till when will Lebanese people remain unequal, divided in rights and duties depending on the sect they were born into? How can we expect sectarianism to stop being Lebanon’s biggest problem, if we still don’t allow couples like the one in this wedding to marry, unless one of them switches sects in an extremely difficult, costly and often humiliating way?

I Wish You Happiness

Thank you for being trailblazers. Thank you for not conforming with something that’s not right. Thank you for making a statement by choosing a woman of Joumana Haddad’s caliber to write your secular ceremony instead of a priest or sheikh. Thank you for not forcing your friends to pay tickets and hotels to travel somewhere to celebrate with you. Most of all, thank you for reminding us all that we don’t need to accept the horrible status quo in Lebanon, and that there are always solutions we can come up with till our government finally wises up and allows civil marriage in Lebanon.